Life Is Like A Fuel Gauge

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It's Monday, October 24th, 2012 in sunny Deltona, Florida.  I am sitting at my favorite computer (dubbed LauberMonster, after my last name) and simply doing some wondering.  I wondered where life would take me next, and then a thought popped into my head that had been there before, and not long ago.  The thought was telling me that I'm driving, and where I go next is up to me.  Before you get too ahead of me, this is not a story about how God is in control and will fix or handle everything.  You see, through my eyes, there are no gods.  I respect religion, and I believe others have real faith, but I believe their faith is in imaginary gods.  This short story, today, is about controlling your own destination.

I am married to a wonderful lady from New Orleans, a Creole girl, and I am happy to accept her two wonderful step-children into my life.  They are both exceptional in many ways, but from time to time they need a little guidance.  Both the boy and girl are in their early 20s.  One is taking the path of education, and the other is taking the path of employment.  The girl, at least for now, has no interest in attending college, and enjoys her job at a local car dealer's parts department.  We will focus briefly on some interaction we had  months ago.  It seemed she was making some, well let's say "not-well-thought-out" decisions.   It's easy to get bummed-out if it seems like life is hitting you when you're already down, and sometimes a few words of wisdom can help.

I took the risk of being "helpful", while walking the thin line between being the "you're not my real dad" stepfather, and trying to be a supportive friend.  And so, we had a nice discussion.  I'm really not sure how much of the conversation stuck, but I was able to think of a decent metaphor to explain what might be happening to her to cause her streak of bad luck, and I thought the same metaphor might be helpful to others. I told her "Life is like a fuel gauge, and every time you have to make a decision, your decision determines whether the needle moves toward empty, or toward full".

Simply put, YOU decide where your life goes next.  If you make a bad decision, for whatever reason, you have affected the outcome to be negative, or less fuel in the tank.  The opposite also holds true.  Is it fool-proof?  Not even close.  I think of it as more of a general guide.  I can think of many, many times throughout my life that I likely should have made the opposite choice.  I can't go back and change that, but I can learn from that mistake and try to make better choices and decisions in the future.  I have also noticed that the older I get, the better the decisions.  I guess that goes without saying.

When I was a younger man, roughly from my early 20s right up to my mid-to-late 30s, I was making a large percentage of poor decisions, mostly due to drugs, being stubborn, or just simply ignorant.  I felt what it was like to be down and out, and it sure seemed like no matter what I did, I just couldn't get ahead.  Then as I grew a bit older and began to mature (in my 40s), the decisions started getting better, and life started cooperating with me more often.  Things simply begin to fall into your lap when you take control like that.

In 1998 I landed a good-paying job with (then Bellsouth) at&t.  I thought I had it made, and I thought I would be retiring from at&t in just seven more years, about the same time my house would be paid off.  In this case, a series of what I thought to be poor decisions that got me fired turned out to be some of the best decisions I have ever made, although I will tell you this at the expense of poking holes in the very theory I wrote this post about!

You see, I had it made.  I had a cushy job that paid well, and the coolest boss around.  That all changed a couple years ago when my cool boss had a heart attack and up and died on us!  (We miss you, dearly, Lenny)  He was eventually replaced with a guy I couldn't get along with from the very first minute, and it did NOT get any better as time went on.  He was the opposite of our previous boss version, and was nearly impossible to deal with.  My life, my job, my attitude...everything changed for the worse.  I just had no energy to get up and go to work, but I did it, day after day.  It seemed like the days would never end, and it put plunged me into an unbelievable state of depression.  I now hated the job I loved just a year or so before.  I really hated my boss, and I truly hated the new way at&t used management via intimidation as opposed to the old Bellsouth methods that I now see were much better.

Long story short, I could tell my boss wanted me out of there, and I can't blame him.  I was doing my work, but I was anything but cooperative.  The truth is, at the risk of sounding pompous, he didn't like me at all because he knew I was smarter than him.  None of that bothered me.  What bothered me most was the way he treated people.  He was simply what I would refer to as a dickhead, and likely the same off the job.  I would admit I'm not the easiest to get along with, but I had no problem getting along with everyone for 12 years before this, and was actually well-liked by many.  Last May he terminated me after a string of questionable practices and bogus reasons, including phone records.  At that moment, the exact moment of termination, I knew I had a choice to make.  It was time to make one of those decisions.  I could be bitter for the rest of my life and go on and on about how this a-hole fired me for no good reason, or I could take the high road.   I decided to take the high road, and when he told me "This will be a termination meeting", I said "Let me get this straight, you're telling me I don't have to be here tomorrow at 8am?"  He looked at me with a strange look on his face, as though he couldn't understand what I meant, and he said "No, you don't have to be here tomorrow at 8am, or any other day".

I then shook his hand, and said "Thank you, I"m a better man than you are", and that is the last words we spoke to this day.   I had no inclination to get revenge, I had no desire to "get him back", and I had no desire to return to work at at&t again, ever, period.  From the liberating moment, I made a decision to never, ever work for anyone but myself, no matter what.   That which could have appeared to be one of the worst decisions of my life, was now one of the best decisions I have ever made.  I now work for myself, at my house, spending time when I like with my awesome wife, who also works here from the house, and we can spend time with our dogs, go shopping, and we basically have the freedom to do anything we want, and be anything we want to be.  I am now the owner of a recording studio, guitarist for an acoustic duo by the name of "Empty Pockets", playing drums in numerous bands, writing blogs (like this one), and networking in the music world like never before.  I am starting a new HUGE website project by the name of EZBANDPAGE.COM, which will be launching JAN 1, 2012, and I couldn't be happier.  This is the most gas I have had in my tank for quite some time, and what seemed to be a negative decision has turned my life around!  My fuel gauge is now showing FULL, and I plan to keep it that way!


Follow your dreams and you will be successful...who'da thought?

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